I Missed Glasto and Ended Up on a Superyacht with Martha Stewart 🛥️☀️🌊

A week of planes, trains and automobiles – well, private jets, Eurostars, and racing cars darling – via a luxury yacht where it was all Hollywood princesses on deck for a floating fiesta

Last weekend I sent the team to Glastonbury to catch Idris Elba, Lennon Gallagher, Pixie Geldof and the festival kids via Barbour’s warm-up lunch at The Pig, while I was dodging pickpockets in Paris.

A clip round the ear and a stern “Méchant!” saw the rascal off and I headed to Hermès SS26 men’s show where the glossy mag boys were rocking summer looks with Luke Day in his trademark short shorts alongside the ever-stylish Teo Van Den Broeke. Bringing London cool to the FROW were Royal Ballet dancer Marcellino Sambe with Sheila Atim, Wretch 32, Malachi Kirby and stylist Rose Forde.

Sailing with the stars

A midnight dash to Rome got me aboard the Luminara, which was making its maiden voyage with a manifest that read like Time’s People of the Year. Naomi, Leo, Martha Stewart, Kendall Jenner, Ricky Martin, Sofia Vergara, Kate Hudson and Dakota Johnson brought the glitz to the Ritz-Carlton’s superyacht, partying the first night away to a set by Ellie Goulding.

On the second evening I couldn’t resist getting some shots of Colman Domingo dancing with his husband against the enchanting backdrop of Syracuse when the notoriously camera-shy Leo Dicaprio made his way over to say hi to me. Later that evening Sting performed an intimate acoustic set and, tipped off by Leo, gave Tobey Maguire a rendition of Happy Birthday – the Stevie Wonder version. He must have liked my angles as he gave me a hug as he walked off stage. The cruise wound up in Malta and I hopped on a private jet from there back to Paris and on to London.

From F1 to E1

You can tell when the Formula One juggernaut rolls into town because all the drivers start making personal appearances. Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri celebrated 20 years of McLaren x Hilton hotels ahead of their first and second placements in the British Grand Prix. Hopefully the guests in the papaya orange-decorated suite wore sunglasses!

I raced from there to a fun evening with Lewis Hamilton opening the House of Peroni Nastro Azzurro 0.0% – a driving beer.

Lewis threw some pizzas together on stage and fielded a few questions from Grimmy but I had to fly to the next job, from F1 to the E1 powerboat showcase next to the Thames. Will Poulter and Jack Guinness enjoyed the Bombay Sapphire alongside car-mad Jodie Kidd, who was debating whether to add electric boat driving to her race card.

Now for the science bit

Both Kate Moss and I were making an early start next day joining Sabrina Elba for a Lyma Laser science lecture. Ashley Roberts and Gabby Roslin joined the audience, while Amanda Cronin had the goss about the next Real Housewives cast. The ladies all looked a lot fresher than I did at that time of day – perhaps I need to start on the laser treatments.

That afternoon I had an emotional reunion with my favourite lady, Diana Ross, who was in town with her boys, Evan and Ross at The Dorchester launching Arne’s Reserve Caviar in their father’s memory. The Ross-Naess clan were out in force, along with Anya Taylor Joy, Serena Williams, Mutya Buena and dancer Patricia Zhou.

A quick reset and it was off to Erdem’s store where the designer was hosting a Pride cocktail with Gays the Word in support of Not a Phase and akt. William Bracewell, Yasmin Finney, Christopher Kane and Bel Priestly were among the lovely crew in attendance. Keira Knightley was also there smiling away with her old man, James Righton, and her Black Doves co-star Ben Whishaw. There was a lot of chat circling about how Keira and Ben would be a great pair for Bond in its next era – you heard it here first!

I ended the night at Dita von Teese’s Diamonds and Dust press night afterparty where Fat Tony was back on the decks spinning tunes for a dolled-up crowd including Boy George, Aimee Phillips, Jun Nakayama, and Faye Tozer, who hasn’t aged a day since her Steps era.

My night ended there, ready to dive back into the maelstrom next day – but that’s a tale for next week.

Dave
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